Monday, September 12, 2016

Minneapolis: You Betcha! I Have to Fly There and You're Coming With

It's been a long while since I blogged...time to fix that. Let's see what Minneapolis has in store for us, shall we?

Flying is always blog worthy...and I firmly believe that every stand-up comic is required by Comedic Law to have at least part of every routine devoted to the wonderful adventure of air travel. There was an actual time when air travel was an adventure. People were genuinely excited. It was an event in itself.

Cut to wide-eyed child with a wispy British accent, glowing cheeks, joyful tears of wonder, hope and possibility in her doe eyes: "Dear father, do you mean to tell me that you, mother and I will be getting in a machine that will lift us right off the ground and into the sky? That we'll soar in the wind like birds...above candyfloss clouds, as this fantastical contraption whisks us at terrific speeds to rainbow-laden wonderlands we would have likely never seen without it? Such a marvel truly exists in more than dreams, father? Holy Father fucking Christmas."

Now it's viewed with utter dread and loathing, finding itself slightly ahead of the DMV on the Just Fucking Shoot Me list of things to do. Seriously...and if there's a restless baby on the plane? Mother of god.

Actually no real complaints about this flight so far. It has been uneventful with no babies, no delays, no horrible odors, etc. But I wish this little British girl beside me would shut up and stop calling me "father".

 

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