10. Regardless of the action on the field, you're guaranteed to see at least one person spit blood.
9. Paul Stanley will smash a guitar over the head of the opposing team's starting quarterback at a strategic moment of each game.
8. Halftime of every game will consist of a 20-minute drum solo.
7. Since placekicker's are a bit spacey to begin with, the LA KISS kicker will always wear one orange shoe and one red shoe.
6. When was the last time you ate a KISS hotdog on a KISS bun while drinking a KISS beer? Oh and all arena food is cooked by fire-breathers.
5. The LA KISS offense will not run the shot gun formation, rather the much more badass Love Gun formation.
4. Although slowed somewhat by platform turf-shoes, the studded leather uniforms will make the KISS players much harder to tackle.
3. Not only will the t-shirts rule, the t-shirt cannon will be attached to the headstock of a smoking Gibson Les Paul.
2. Paul Stanley will belt out all in-game announcements over the public address system. "That's a KISS first down!!! Lemme hear ya!!! Awwww-right!"
And the number one reason:
With Gene and Paul involved, the cheerleaders alone will be worth the price of admission. All the girls will be Hotter Than Hell, wear the number 16 and have Nothin' To Lose.
I don't know about you, but sign me up.
No comments:
Post a Comment